A Diagnosis by Any Other Name…
He came to me after being told he had borderline personality disorder and that there was nothing to be done except “learn to cope.”
He felt broken, he felt trapped. At work, he constantly battled imposter syndrome, needing to prove himself again and again. In relationships, even small conflicts made him feel abandoned and worthless. It was an almost constant state of devastation.
The truth is, it’s an open secret that some therapists use labels like BPD when a client’s struggles seem “too complex” for traditional approaches. But labels are only labels – often hiding a deeper story underneath.
During our initial strategy session, I asked a few questions about his background. Very quickly, it became clear that what he was experiencing wasn’t a personality disorder at all – it was the result of deep, unresolved childhood trauma.
There was no violence, no obvious catastrophe. His parents probably even meant well in this particular case. But parents are just people and they have their own limitations. What was there was constant pressure to perform, to be perfect, to outdo others. Failures were met with criticism instead of support. And when the pressure became so much that he cried for help, his parents were emotionally unavailable.
He thought it was normal. It Wasn’t.
As we worked together, we began to remove the limiting beliefs that had formed in that environment – the beliefs that said he was only worthy when he excelled, or that love had to be earned through performance.
Bit by bit, he grew more resilient and self-aware. He learned to separate his true self from the old stories he’d been carrying around with him.
At work, he became confident in his abilities and stopped accepting unfair criticism. And the real test came during a family visit over the holidays (a situation that used to trigger him deeply). This time, he stayed calm, grounded, and fully in control. He could observe his family’s behavior without being dragged into the drama.
That’s what real transformation looks like: the moment you realize you don’t have to keep reliving the same emotional patterns.
Sometimes we just need an outside perspective to help us see our past in new ways. Once you understand where those beliefs come from, you can do the work to let them go and start writing a much better future.
I was honored to be part of his healing journey, especially after he had been dismissed by so many others.
If something in his story resonates with you, maybe it’s time to start releasing what’s been holding you back too.
Let’s Stop Coping and Start Healing
Constantly trying to cope can become exhausting and people often get into trouble when those coping mechanisms stop working. Free2Decide believes in working together with you to resolve your trauma. Resolved trauma means you are no longer haunted or triggered today by the past. When you are not triggered, you don’t need coping mechanisms and you start living your authentic life.
Ready To Change Your Life?
If you feel you are ready to make a lasting change in your life, then we need to get in touch!
Living without negative self-talk, low self-esteem, anxiety, and other negative emotions and behaviors is possible!
In your free strategy session, we will uncover what is behind the issues that are holding you back and discuss if working together is right for you.